Walking Down a Dark, Unclear Path

Last week I literally was just going through a test... A huge test! I had set plans to go home on Thursday after my final and as soon as I had the plans to do it.. the Lord obviously told me no because He shut my plans down so quick. One minute I thought I was going home to my family after my last final exam and the other minute I was forced to doing something else... I was forced to go toward another direction and I was put into a uncomfortable situation. My car needed a repair and I assumed that if I did not get the repair done soon, I would be forced to stay on campus for additional days (up to a week) because an ice storm was on its way. Who was I to make that call? Why did I so ever just decide to count myself out because of the weather? Isn't God the one who controls the weather? Why did I put my trust and faith into the weather?

Anyway, the test lasted for about a day and a half and I tell you I felt like I was being smacked in the face from left to right, turned down from left and right. Every place I went to were so rude to me and failed to have a heart for me. I mean, I just wanted to get home to my family, was that so bad? The thing is, when I was getting turned down from every place I went to, I was taking it!! It hurt me to know that not one person could have a heart for me and my situation. I knew that they were busy, that's a given. My whole point was that no one was not even WILLING to put some time aside to just look at my car because of the fact I was trying to get home for break and had no other way to get home to my family. What made it so much harder to deal with was the fact that I could not control it... It was out of my hands. But you know what? I didn't care! I wanted direction so bad that I knew it was worth it to go through the pain now.. to get over the giant now in order to get to the other side. I had endured so much through that day and in order to stop putting myself through so much, I decided to just go back to my dorm and unpack my bags with the plans of trying again the next day. The next day I got up at 6 o'clock in the morning and got to it. I went to a place that told me they would look at my car, if I brought it in the morning, the previous day. You guessed it?! They turned me down the next day as well. At this point I was fed up because I was so lost and didn't know what was next.... I did not know what place to drive to next. After being shut down one more time before my break through, I walked to my car and sat there and told myself that I needed to pray. I literally spoke two words and started balling. I could not hold back my tears anymore and I actually think all I was able to do was just call out to Jesus and say, "LORD" before I began to cry. I remember the only thing I could say afterwords was, "Wait, Lord wait... I didn't want to cry wait." I told him that I just needed direction. I assured Him that if He did not come through for me, I did not have anyone else. I cried out, "Please! I don't know what to do!"

I always find myself crying out to the Lord, assuring Him that if I do not have Him, then I don't have anyone else and that I am clueless without Him... and before I knew it He led me to one place that I had never noticed before, where the employee led me to another place where the employee was excited to help me. What trips me out is the fact that I had rode place the place so many times and never noticed it! The employee heard my situation, and told me, "Drop it off, and I'll squeeze you in throughout the day!" Really?! I was so excited guys, someone was willing to help me! I was following the Lord, blindly! I didn't even know what I was doing. I didn't know the the city I was driving around well enough to just be driving, trying to find a place where someone would help me. But I also didn't know that driving around as clueless as I was would lead to my break through and ultimately be for my good.

I pulled up to this place around 8:30 in the morning and by 8:40 in the morning, they had my car. I didn't know what I was in for... I was just letting the Holy Spirit lead me. I sat in that place for 7 hours!!! 7 hours?!! I know right, some of us would have been left and decided on their own that they were wasting their time and tried to find another place who was guranteed to work on their car because of the fact that nothing was a gurantee. Sometimes we want quick results; some of us would have wanted to know if the place could or could not look at our car... not try to 'squeeze' us in. I just couldn't do that though. I found peace by just sitting there. I had sat there for 7 hours, just clueless, and not knowing anything. Just having faith that my God would come through for me!! I was clueless, but I rested. I read my bible on my phone and just tried to stay strong and remember that the Lord doesn't care about time! And not only does He not care about time, He doesn't want us to even be concerned with time either.

Acts 1:7 says: He said to them, "It is not for you to know times or periods that the Father has set by His own authority."

One day for us can be two seconds for Him. I believe that we need to learn to just rest... just wait. Our whole lives is controlled by time and some of us even say things like, "One of the most important things you can waste is time." Who set the standard for how much time is considered wasted time? We could miss out on the happiness in the joy of right now all because of the standard that WE set for what is considered wasted time to, or the standard that we set for time in general. If we just chose to believe and rely on the fact the the Lord does not care for time and everything has a season, a time, and a place, how much happier would we be?

So I sat and trusted Him with all my heart and then He began to give me even more peace, which was clarification for me. I knew what He told me I would be going home sooner than later and I started to feel His promise coming to pass, just seven hours later. Now, don't get me wrong because I am not painting this picture of this girl who's not worried about anything because she trusted the Lord. Yes, I trusted Him, but no I wasn't perfect. I knew (well thought I knew)I had to leave that car repair shop and get home to my dorm and pack my car up before 5 o'clock in the afternoon because that storm that I mentioned earlier was due to come at 5 o'clock. On top of that, there was a storm due at 7 o'clock in the afternoon by my home (where I was traveling to). According to me, this mean't I had to be leaving the city my school is in by 3:30 in the afternoon in order to try to get home before 7 o'clock in the evening. The storm got pushed back two hours. You can't tell me that was not God. You guys, He's so powerful and intentional. Everything He does is for a reason. We just have to believe in His will and not the plans that we set for our own lives.

Even though I literally went through this test last week, I think about how I literally sat there without knowing what was going on. My time could have been wasted and I could have sat there for seven hours for no reason... I had no idea what was going on. But then I thank God that I had faith in Him and His timing! I thank Him that I had the faith that He would come through for me and I would have more than enough time to make it home and spend a suffient amount of time with my family. I thank God for caring about the little things. That even though I could have counted myself out when my car needed a repair, He still had my back and led me to His promise of me making it home and THEN made sure I made it home safely... just not when I wanted to, which made it so much sweeter when I finally got home.

The Bible verses that the lord led me to while I waited on Him was: Jeremiah 29:12-13 and Matthew 11:29. Jeremiah 29:12-13 says, You will call to Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. Matthew 11:29 says, "All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves."

I believe the Lord led me to write this post and make myself vulnerable because of the fact that it. is. not. about. me. Let me explain... Me writing this post and telling everyone what went on with me last week is to share with you guys that God is so worthy of being relied on. He is more reliable than anyone that we think we can rely on. The crazy part is, the only reason why we only rely on the people that we rely on today more than we rely on God is because we can can physically see those people. Granted, we can physically see those people, but we can not always count on them simply because at any moment they can decide to make themselves unreliable; God will always be reliable. I am writing this post to essentially remind you guys that God is a faithful God and if He made a promise to you, He will come through. Why? Because He only wants the best for us, according to His will. God works for a reason. Everything He does is for a reason! Even the things that hurts us! It was all in His will for our lives. I was hurt the other week. Actually, hurt is an understatement, I was torn down! I did not know when I would be home or how long of a break I would have away from school. If you know me, you'd know I'd rather be home with my family ANYTIME! And the fact that being home with my family was threatened had bothered me and essentially, started to get to me. But as I said before, everything works for a reason! We just have to learn to be faithful even with the unknowing. We have to learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. We have to learn and be willing to walk when our vision is unclear or even dark... We have to be willing to walk in the dark in order to get to the light. He will work on us in tremendous ways because of the fact that He is faithful and you know what? He looks for us to walk by faith and not by sight. What good would it be if God told us, "Look on this day you're going to want to go home, but you're going to need a repair, but it's okay, just go to this shop so you don't have to waste time driving around, going to other shops who won't help you." NO! That is not how it works. God wants to know that we could trust and follow Him, even when we are confused and lost. How would He know He could trust us with His best when He always gives us the answers? Would we truly love Him for Him and whats He's done for us or use Him for His advice and answers? How would He know He could trust us if we are not faithful to Him even when we don't know the answers? Would we rely on Him the same way we do now when we are lost and need direction, IF He always gave us the answers to out problems without the trials and tribulations?.. Would we even depend on Him as hard and as much as we do now?! We have to know that walking blindly, but also BOLDLY, is so much worth it when we are following the Lord and His understanding, instead of ours. His way is better than our own way... even if we planned it from A to Z. Like me, I knew I would get out of my last final exam at 2:30 in the afternoon and I'll be home by 5 o'clock in the afternoon on that same day. Even though we plan things out from A to Z because that's what we think is correct or the best for us, it may be in His will for the plan to got from Z to A because He knows that best for us. We need to not hold on so tight to our plans and let HIM work! It's so much more worth it to walk blindly and boldly in the Lord than to plans our lives based on worldly knowledge -- you never know how He could surprise us!

1 Corinthians 13:12: For now we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known.

You guys have an awesome day and remember God is always with you, directing your steps because He cares about even the little things and He loves you THAT. MUCH!

XOXOXO, GERRI D.